The Solid white line……

Half past five in the evening, while strolling on the new six-lane under construction Rajarhat -Madhjyamgram highway, I was appreciating the architectural skill, design and the genuine infrastructure development in the last few months in Kolkata. This is something scheduled stuff. Normally during my free evening I use to roam on that 3.5 Km road, to and fro examining aspects and at the same time enjoying the scenic beauty of nature, watching the sunset in the calm and cozy pollution free (at least better than main city) environment. I really do appreciate the recent advancements of the metro city and its leap in declaring itself worthy of calling a “Metro City”.

By the side of the road, white-lines have been marked, denoting the end point of road. I don’t know what came in my mind; I started walking on the line. That was quite funny, given that the line was not broad enough with respect to me (sigh!!). It was like performing a cat-walk on road-side (funny and silly, but I enjoyed it). After some time the road turned along its side way, and so turned the line and so do I. Going forward the line ended as further demarcation has not been completed yet. I moved forward, leaving the line. Surprisingly, still I was moving in a similar fashion, i.e., if there would be the line, it would be the same where my foot-print were imprinted.

I sat by the road, and thought, this is what they call “Discipline”. Mr. L.N.Sharma, my 1^st hostel superintendent, used to say us, once you are accustomed with the rules and regulation of hostel, you will follow it till the end of your life. This is why strict discipline is needed. It makes us focus on our goal so well, that even if restriction is no more there, we don’t deviate from our path. We all need this solid white line in our life, our work, in our attitude. In other terms, we all need to be regulated by rules, either made by others, or us. One rule may override other but still there has to be one. Moving like nomad, leads us to nowhere but the same place after a lot of zigzag path as a particle has underwent the Brownian motion yet the displacement is zero. To maximize the displacement we need to optimize the constraints. Well said by Tushar Raheza (Author of national bestseller – ‘Anything for you mam’) – “Life is a linear programming problem (LPP), full of constraints (problems) and variables (the things we care about). We cannot solve it. It can only be optimized to its maxima or minima”.

Well that’s the point – how strictly and submissively we follow the white line. It is in the nature, we like to break law. Even the 2^nd Law of thermodynamics says “The Entropy of an isolated system not in thermal equilibrium always increases”. That means, we tend to bring chaos in the system. Look around us, where one side river tries to bring equilibrium by eroding stones and filling the low area by its soil tries to bring both of them to same level, there are volcanoes, earthquakes and other calamities that again make them unequal. I we look around the globe, wherever the seismic belt is, it the area where there is least difference in natural geological topography. But for sure, one thing is unnoticed here, when a person break rules, and proclaims he/she is not governed by law, at the very same moment he/she defines a new law for him for not to be abided by any law.

So you see, this is what I mean to say, Life is nothing but a movement on Solid white line. It depends on us, to draw a new one or to follow the already drawn one and the success depends on which white line we choose to follow. This is the point where the human conscience lies within….

Howrah to Delhi @ Diwali Night

It is six past six in the evening, and “Burdhwan Junction” has swept passed by my right. I could see scintillating colorful lights, chandeliers, candles and numerous varieties of artistic creations (that can only be the output of typical Bengali creativity for which I genuinely appreciate them) on the rooftops by the railway trackside. Oh yes! It is “Diwali : The festival of light”. The train is moving fast and the streak of light build because of speed of train is making numerous patterns, amazing and beautiful, just like any famous painting by Late M.F Hussain. Watching them, thoughts drilled down the past memories as if I have been hypnotized by some magician to spit-out my past Diwali night memories, as if some DBA has fired flashback query to access the deleted data from the database recycle been.

Yes, it used to be one of the nights for which I used to wait for a whole year. I could visualize myself and my sis, jumping on the sparks around the “chakri” with a black centre emitting out light to its surrounding, as if a star is about to end emitting out all its light and turning into black-hole. I could see my Dad lighting the rocket which for sure doesn’t reach moon, but definitely launches our joy to the extreme point till it burst out in pieces. I could see my mom, smiling, watching the “Anar”, and emitting its sparks like a fountain of joy to its maximum. One thing was common among all these crackers, all emitted light for a moment and then turns to ash as if teaching us lesson - Burn to ash, if you want to give light and happiness to other.

Hey!! It’s Panagarh, which means I could see my college in a moment or two. Wait a minute, which side of Howrah-Delhi main line was it? Right- yes, but what is this, so dark. Not a single light!!!! Strange! Is it? When we were in college, we deliberately used to stay in college during diwali. Not because we don’t want to go home, but because to electrify the night. To help in decoration of the place this meant a lot to us – after all college is college. Good or bad, nasty or cheerful, all flavors and experiences of life, almost all of them – we got here. But now, there is a silence, may be they doesn’t care for it any more, may be two years have changed to environment or rather now-a-days two year is sufficient time to bring gap in the generation an its thought. May be now, it is only a place to receive a degree and nothing more.

Here crosses the Durgapur Station. Numerous moments of mischief can be counted on it. I even don’t want to mention them here else Google will prompt a validation for publish of this post stating its size limitation more than the capacity. Be it Satish’s birthday celebration, or late night college return (when the train was the only means of communication left to reach Rajbandh Terminal), or a non-sense, no-occasion party all have got some moments here. Alas, time is the only thing, according to Stephen Hawkins, that cannot flow in (-)ve axis. Sigh!!!

As now there is nothing to watch out for a while, the psychiatric light pattern has restarted drilling down a bit further into my memories. I could remember that, for days I used to dry up the crackers in sun-light on terrace as to confirm, they don’t have any more moisture. Buying them was itself an adventure. It was like you had to select a few items from Pandora box, where all of them are equally attractive, seductive and a wan ‘a bee. Oh my god!! Really, it was the perfect project planning, with limited resource and fund you have to get maximum output. May be I should include them in my CV. Dad used to leave that all on us, as if want to test our judgment of selecting the appropriate ones guiding like an experienced consultant. Damm!! If there would have been any designated post for that expertise he would have received “A” band in his entire appraisal. He is Damm good in it.  I could remember an incident. I don’t remember the year exactly but most probably it was 1994 or 95. I was craving for some new firework and babbling about not getting it. Really that was Rs.200 per piece, quite costly at that time. I was making my facial expression and then my sis came out of “Swadeshi Bhandar”, that was the store name, carrying out some decoration stuffs. She then told me, there was a boy hardly of age 4-5, he wasn’t having any money. May be his parents were not in a condition to buy him crackers. He wanted a pack of “Fuljhari”. My sis, asked my dad to pay him for that. He was exited like hell. He stopped crying. I shouted at her for a while for wasting money for a stranger. After a while I realized, we were not too rich, but at least getting what we want. How is it going to harm me if someone gets a piece of happiness in is shattered drowsy life. After all, festivals are to spread love and happiness. I felt very guilty and that year onwards, I never made any scene for crackers. And now two years in job, I never burst any cracker on Diwali. But yes, every year I would buy a pack of “Fuljhari” to some unknown poor miserable stranger child, just to overcome the guilt.

“Beep-Beep” – “Airtel welcomes you to Jharkhand”. Wicked! I have reached Dhanbad. I didn’t even realized when Asansol passed by. I need to send one message. No reply! Another minute passed, and then another and another, no reply yet. May be the person is too busy in celebrating the festival. But how dare not to answer? How could one? Then I remembered, Diwali is all about celebration, which is beyond friendship, relationship and personal prejudices. It is all about spreading light - Remembering of which, “Diya” cropped into my mind. Diya made up of clay, small, need frequent fuel refilling, but yet like mascot of Diwali. I used to put them in water so that they absorb enough water in advance to avoid fuel absorption. My grandma used to prepare “Bati” from old worn out cloths. My Grandpa, dad  and sis along with me use to place them at equal distance and wait for night to come, so that we can light them and eliminate the dark evil. Electric lights were there, but there was something with these tiny arts that always fascinated me. Even today I prefer Diya over electric series lights. Maybe I have been institutionalized to have them. It’s a pity, now you barely see any of them - at least not in abundance. In fact they now use electric wire and LED’s to light diya.

It’s getting too wired and I decided not to drill my memories any more. This small rendezvous of mine with myself has given me enough material to think. Isn’t awesome- the Hindu Mythology and tradition, our culture, where everything has got a scientific or psychological significance. Finding alternatives is a human nature and that is good. Otherwise we might have still been living in caves rubbing stones to produce light. But sometime I feel like running away from and taking alternatives has made the original path as alternative. Everything has pros and cons. But, as I always say, it’s we, human –always seek the easy path. Diwali now has become just like any other day for many of us. No excitement, no adventure and no pleasure. May be a holiday to relax and take rest. Human values have changed and so do they. But the question lies within – who is responsible – Scientific advancements, cultural shift, Social values or we ourselves? May be someday I could figure that out, but that’s in the top of the Maslow’s Hierarchical Triangle, i.e, in self actualization need. It is just a matter to think about……….

 

 

 

An evening @ Hooghly Ghat...

It’s been over one and half years since I had started working in Kolkata. Bloody hell! Time sweeps out faster than a person dying from “Avada Kedavra”. Alas, I haven’t really visited the city of glorious history (and may be an awesome future, from the point I am looking at). May be too busy with my work, may be a bit lethargic to move out of bed during weekends, or maybe I never felt like (after all what is the point in roaming around alone with no reasons). Whatever be the cause, it’s a bitter truth, I have rarely gone to places other than 8A & 8B ODC, Office cafeteria, EM By pass and a few other places, where you need to go for your survival.

Sun-Set on Hooghly river

However, today I went to meet Ankrit and we decided to go by riverside and sit on bank for some peace. In fact you can never find peace on Ghats apart from midnights (always plundered with people who never end up their rituals, one after another or the love birds or the people having an anti-social environments creating around them). Still we managed to conjure a place like that. I do have passed that place numerous times, but never felt the bamboozlement like this ever. The boys were swimming, making races with launch passing bye. Suddenly one of the boys caught hold of it and was surfing on water (lying on it). That was something. He then climbed on it, and went to the rooftop and then like a dolphin he dived…WTF…from a moving launch. Before, I could see where he has gone, he climbed again.

After a while a party launch (which is being hired for party having pubs & disc on it, pretty expensive, 15K bucks an hour) passed by….whooooooooooossssssssssshhhhhhhhh. and it emitted a simple small wave. Ankrit asked me to fold the pants and stand in the water. I did that. The wave seemed small, when approaching the shore, rose high, bigger. The nearer it came, it grew. Am I going to drown away? By the time it reached me, it wasn’t actually touching my feet rather, making me wet up to my crouch and that two with a force that could have turned the dynamo (if available there).

Gradually the sun turned down, the white sky went blood red pink and then it disappeared into the black. The only thing left were small lightings emitting from mid-river water treatment plants, Hooghly dock and at a distance Howrah Bridge was visible with its twinkling lights. We had “Litti-chokha” a typical local dish of Bihar, UP & Jharkahand, yummy enough not be procured at other localities in abundant quantity (bitter truth). I had it almost after 5-6 years, and was too good. As Ankrit was telling me about the new released “Sanghai”, my mind was thing something different. That is the problem with it. When it gets awesome demeanor, chilly environment and good food, it won’t rest rather thinks a lot (sigh!!).

It does make sense, Life gives us many chances to compete, and it’s up to us weather we surf on it or keep away from it. The small boy was enjoying a lot, in spite of pain, when he was hitting water. Still he was enjoying. If we do something that is our passion or we like to do, no matter how adverse the situation is we will be happily doing it. Sometimes the problematic wave doesn’t seems too tough than it really is. When we realize, it’s too late or in a condition from where we cannot move back. The only solution is to be firm enough not be get drowned away. Nature teaches us in many ways. All beginnings fades away, apart from ones deed that glows even in pitch black darkness, some deeds that will be praised only when there is darkness as in broad day light it won’t be easily visible.

And finally I realized…My brain thinks a lot when free…

....Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Mid Hot June…usual Power cut. This was quite often in Dumka, and none of us was surprised on it. As if, this was a routine work. It has to go and will come back, and even if not no problem. We are used to it and somewhere inside me, I was convinced that it’s their goodwill that they provide power lines and voltage (that’s the only term I knew about electricity at that time). I used to put water on the rooftops, to make it a bit chilly (God knows, that makes me sweat like hell, fetching water from well to upstairs, later replaced by motor pump).We (I and ma sis) used to sit on bamboo mattress with lamp (surrounded by infinite numbers and verity of orthopedic creatures), basically doing nothing. Sis used to scold me for doing my homework (ignoring hers) and I used to make excuses for not doing it. Literally, we both did nothing. Sometimes I imagine how the homework used to get completed!!!! And then Dad, he was something, be it simple rooftop, or garden, every where he was capable of putting up mosquito net. I am sure he would be able to put it on Mt. Everest too. I still wonder how it takes months, years or even centuries to plan, act and deliver a project with unlimited human and system resource. But ask my dad, he used to plan (how the net will be hanged), act (nails, bricks and rope work) and deliver (we used to sleep peacefully). And mind it that was a 6-Sigma Delivery. After dinner I used to have race with my sis to the roof top to occupy chiller pillow (however it doesn’t matter much as it gets warm after a while).  Dad used to fan us constantly, till I fell asleep. I used to pretend a lot, in fact that gives me shame that dad is drenched in sweat, still aiming fan to me. So, if he considers me asleep he will get some for his own. Sis used to show me different constellations in the sky. In no time I was familiar with them and used to identify them even in faint sky. The breeze used to bring fragrance of grass and plants that occupy (rather spread) the surrounding of house. In spite of hectic temperature, the sleep was so cool and sound.

Getting back to present day, it is now about 1 and half years in Kolkata in a very busy, hectic life. A life full of luxuries as Air-Conditioned office etc. Lights went off few days back and I couldn’t sleep whole night. In fact I don’t remember when the last time I slept peacefully without worries was. 5years, 6 years or may be more than 10 years. I have spent countless nights a typing furiously on system, poking am knows in books equally heavier than me. That bestowed me quite comfortable life (of course not like a superstar, but commendable one). But every night when I go on bed, there are enormous issues crawling like ants in my mind.I don’t complain of them, but somewhere a question lies. What we expect from life? And again it reminds me my own theorem,

“You get everything on cost of something.”

 But is it worth? Months used to pass without a glimpse of your loved ones, but they are the same who are most happy when you get appreciation for what you are doing. They are the one who sacrifices themselves to keep us happy. Ignoring it is their insult, accepting it is mine.  The nursery rhym, though tought in nursery, has its meaning in real world.

“Twinkle Twinkle Star, How I wonder what you are. 

Up Above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky”

May be someday, I could lie back on my rooftops…staring them…..may be…